What Really Happend in FFX
by RaW-NrG
Summary: Chap 10 and accepting reviews. What people were really saying and thinking in the game.
1. Default Chapter

What REALLY has been happening in FFX  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FFX or anything (Accept the stuff I have at home...or that could possible belong to my parents...forget it)  
  
In the Beginning – Zanarkand  
  
Fans: Can you sign my blitz ball?  
  
Tidus: Sure if you promise to take over the score board controls and set the my team to win so it doesn't look like a tie and I don't feel like I tied before my life gets messed up and I am sent to some strange lands and go to stop so evil from being spread and...I mean sure.  
  
Fans:*Slowly walk away, then run. *  
  
Kids: Can you teach us how to play Blitz Ball?  
  
Tidus: Sure.  
  
Mysterious Person/hooded kid: No you can't, you have something to do.  
  
Tidus: Yea I got... Da f&#@ are you?  
  
Mysterious Person/hooded kid Um... just voice in your head.  
  
Tidus: Damn voices! (Starts wrestling himself constantly beating his head)(Kids get traumatized and run)  
  
(Tidus getting through fans)  
  
Tidus: Ah my arm!  
  
Some Fan: I got his arm!  
  
Tidus: *in surgery magically gets it repaired in time for game*  
  
(From Tidus's shot to water place)  
  
Tidus: Ah I can't hold on...oh well my life sucks (Falls but magically survives and goes to see Auron)  
  
Tidus: We got to go! (Runs along long road and wonders why the stupid people are just standing there while Sin is invading)  
  
(Time slows down)  
  
Hooded Person: It begins now!  
  
Tidus: Ah the voices (starts to cry)  
  
HP: Don't cry...ok I really mean it! Just keep going and shut up!  
  
Tidus: You don't have to be so mean!  
  
(Tidus and Auron after Breaking through Sin Spawns)  
  
Tidus on Ledge again: This seems very familiar...oh yea I wanted to kill my self.  
  
Auron: Are you sure Jecht? Wait oops I mean God?  
  
Tidus: Nice going asshole you killed the story!  
  
Auron: Don't make me kill you! Tidus: Whatever just throw me into the light so I can act surprised and stuff.  
  
Auron: Ok (Throws into light)  
  
(Under water area)  
  
Tidus: Where da f$%@ am I?  
  
(Goes along and bridge falls)  
  
Tidus: God damn monsters!  
  
(Fights the 3 fish, kills 2 and big fish eats last one)  
  
Tidus: Oh F%$#!  
  
(Swims to cave so is not eaten)  
  
Tidus: Damn it's cold in here! Well might as well start a fire.  
  
(Gathers what's needed for a fire)  
  
Tidus: Finally it's up...and now its gone again. Well I guess I should have learned to go camping, guess my asshole of a father was right one time (looks back to when his father made him go camping and he snuck out) (Weird fast moving cat like monster comes)  
  
Tidus: Is they're anything in here that does not want to eat me?  
  
(Fights and AL Bhed come)  
  
Tidus: You're on my side?  
  
???: Nodds head for yes  
  
(Kill creature and they take him to boat)  
  
Tidus: So I would like to say thanks for saving me (Is attacked).  
  
Tidus: You wanna start somtin?!  
  
???: Calm down, we need you to help us get something from the deep or we will kil you.  
  
Tidus: Sounds conving. If we were real my options would be die drowning or get shot and die but since this is a video game I get the magic ability to breathe under water forever!  
  
???: Shut up and lets go!  
  
(Swim, fix machine and kill octopuss)  
  
???: Where are you from my name is Rikku  
  
Tidus: Zanarkand. I play Blitz Ball.  
  
Rikku: ? But Zanarkand does not exist, ohh I get it Sin's Toxic made you high.  
  
Tidus: What?! High? I don't feel weird oranything?  
  
Rikku: It makes yo high and stuff. You don't thnk you can fly or be bat man do you?  
  
Tidus: I AM NOT HIGH!  
  
Rikku: Fine, for the english version we will call it toxin.  
  
Tidus: Ok, then I am from parts unknown.  
  
Rikku: Your very corney, just don't talk here.  
  
Rikku: Let me teach you how to work the sphere grid  
  
Tidus: The what...whatever.  
  
Riku:Pay attention  
  
(Shows tidus sphere grid but he does not pay attention)  
  
Al Bhed guy: rfberkfgi fjgjrgub juhfbub Sin!  
  
(Get attacked by Sin and Tidus is transported again)  
  
Tidus: God Damn you Sin!  
  
Kicks the blitz ball thrown at him by accident up in the air  
  
Wakka: oh sorry cuz!  
  
Tidus (Does thatflip Kick you did not fully seein the beginning and hits Wakka)  
  
Wakka: Ow you son of a (Beep)  
  
Tidus: Yo Sorry. Hey did you guies see any al bhed or somtin land here  
  
Wakka: (Takes out Switch Blade) Why you won of them(in a serious and angered voise)  
  
Tidus: (Gets nervous) Yo man put the weapon down.  
  
Wakka: answer the god damn question!  
  
Tidus: No, don't hurt me!  
  
Wakka: Oh ok, here come to my villiage.  
  
(Pushes Tidus down river and swim to rivr while talking about Blitz Ball)  
  
Wakka: I am gonna make somtin to eat, ya? Just check around.  
  
Tidus: Alright (goes to temple where is explained about the spirits and stuff then goes to wakka's hut)  
  
Wakka: Just rest I go buisness to take care of.  
  
Tidus(Watches Wakka talk to some one, then falls asleep.  
  
How did you like chap 1? Tell me about what you think. This is my first fic ever so plz don't be to much of a flamer. 


	2. Besaid

Beside ~  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FFX. No I m not gonna say something stupid like own the world though or w/e... that's just me (fruit gets thrown at)  
  
Ok last time Tidus met w/ Wakka and went to Wakka's Village. Let's see how it's going.  
  
Tidus: (Goes to Temple)  
  
Tidus: Ok now lets see what goes on here.  
  
Guy from Temple: Want to know about the Statues?  
  
Tidus: No, I was already old about them, even then I almost decided to kill you!  
  
GfT: Are you sure, you might learn something?  
  
Tidus: Shut up I'll kill you, I hated school!  
  
GtF (Shocked): Fine, I up God smites you!  
  
Tidus: Oh yea your Mom!  
  
GtF: Your Mom's Mom  
  
Tidus: Your Mom's fat!  
  
Wakka: Shut up and stop, do you have no respect for Yevon or its followers?  
  
Tidus: Huh? Yevon? He started it!  
  
Wakka:? Nevermind, just know that Yevon is our religion.  
  
Tidus: Whatever. (Walks to stairs)  
  
Wakka: Don't do that!  
  
Tidus: Huh?  
  
Wakka: Only summoners and guardians can go there!  
  
Tidus: Oh yea your mom!  
  
Wakka: Shut up! I am serious!  
  
Tidus: (hears something) Sweet I am gonna see what's going on!  
  
Wakka: No!  
  
Tidus: (does sphere patterns and is about to push pedestal)  
  
Wakka: There you are, well we are this far, and I just hope Lulu don't get mad.  
  
Tidus: (enters by a cat like creature and a women walks in) Wow looky there.  
  
Lulu: Who is he?!  
  
Wakka: Uh well he was curious and wanted to come.  
  
Lulu: What kind of guardian are you leting just anyone in?  
  
Wakka: Well he just rushed in.  
  
Lulu: Nevermind!  
  
Yuna: (Walks out dazed and stuff) I did it...I have become a Summoner.  
  
Tidus: This is boring can we leave  
  
Everyone else: Shut up and shpw respect!  
  
(Yuna shows off her aeon)(ow at beach where wakka tells everyone we win, not do our best)  
  
Wakka: This is Tidus, he is gonna help us win!  
  
Auroks: Whats win?  
  
Tidus: (Starts laughing but tries to hold it in) Are you guies really THAT bad? Win is to get a higher score then the other team, have you ever done that?  
  
Auroks: Well uh...no.  
  
Tidus: Oh man we got work.  
  
Tidus: (Goes over to see yuna but is stopped by a kid)(In his mind:Look kid move or I will stab you!)  
  
Yuna: It's ok, Wakka told me how you came to see me.  
  
Tidus: Uh sure.  
  
Yuna: It's nice of you to support the team and help us win.  
  
Tidus: Yup!(Walks away since yuna can't be disturbed)  
  
Wakka: Quite a looker huh?  
  
Tidus: YEA!...I mean...what do you take me for some pimp?  
  
Wakka: hehe yea, well lets just practise with the team, we got a big game tomarrow and a journey to start.  
  
(Next Day while before boat)  
  
Wakka: ok everyone lets go!  
  
(Go throughj some battle trials of ppl's specialty and reach the beach)  
  
Tidus: Ok lets go.  
  
Lulu: You really think your coming with us?  
  
Tidus: Why not?  
  
Lulu: You're a novice in combat, your annoying and run around and don't do what your told, we also know you might surprise some sort of move on Yuna too!  
  
Wakka: He is not like the Lu, lets bring, the more the better!  
  
Tidus: That's right(is then challened by Kimari, don't mind the spelling, I am not in the mood to spell is long complicated name)  
  
(Fight and then are stopped by Wakka)  
  
Wakka: Save it for the fieinds  
  
Tidus: He started it!  
  
(Go on Boat)  
  
End of Chapter 2: Sorry about the double submit this is my first time here hehe. Well I know there was not to much comedy here, I promise better comedy in the next! Remember R&R! 


	3. Kilika

Sin Fight!  
  
Disclamer: I don't own FFX, Simple!  
  
Ok Sorry about the first cahp again guys. I now know the secret to not accidentally pararagrphaing em.  
  
Last time: The were going on a boat to kilika.  
  
Tidus: Ok I guess I will just walk around the ship and talk to people and stuff. (walks around, taks to ppl and stuff)  
  
Lulu: I still think it was a mistake to bring him here.  
  
Wakka: Whats your point?  
  
Lulu: Your very stupid Wakka.  
  
Wakka: No, see the more people we have the better chance we have against feinds.  
  
Lule: Ohh sorry, I forgot we can have a part of 4 million people YET WE CAN ONLY HAVE 3 PARTICIPANTS IN COMBAT!  
  
Wakka: So he is fun.  
  
Lulu: Like I said he wont replace Chappu.  
  
Wakka: To h3ll w/ Chappu, who is he anyway again?  
  
Lulu: Your brother, the one your supposed to be upset over cause he used bad machina.  
  
Wakka: Oh yea.  
  
Tidus: (walks over to big crowd by yuna)  
  
Some Guy: I heard she the father of Braska!  
  
Some other guy: Really? I heard she was in Sabrina the Teenage Witch.  
  
Some Guy: No you asshole, that's Melissa Joanheart!  
  
Tidus: (to wakka): Why is Yuna's Father so popular?  
  
Wakka: He was the High Summoner who defeated SiN 10 years ago.  
  
Tidus: I wonder if he also got drunk and stuff and yelled at her like my oldman did.  
  
Wakka: I don't think so. ````````````````````````````````  
  
Yuna: The wind feels nice.  
  
Tidus (in his mind): What kinda stupid person talk about the wind?  
  
Tidus: Uh yea it feels great (In his mind: Maybe agreeing w/ her will give me a shot w/ her)  
  
Yuna (Laughing at wind)  
  
Tidus (Laughing cause Yuna is laughing at wind and it just seems retarded to him)  
  
Yuna: Its hard for me to be a summoner knowing I must walk in the foot steps of my father.  
  
Tidus: That's kinda like my old man, Jhect. (accept he was an asshole)  
  
Yuna: Amazing, Sir Jhect was one of my dad's guardians!  
  
Tidus: Its probably not the same guy, my dad was an asshole and he died 10 yrs ago.  
  
Yuna: That's the same date he came to spira.  
  
Tidus: Damn, he even did a pilgrimage before me!  
  
Yuna: hehe.  
  
(Sin comes)  
  
Yuna: Ahh, (holds on to harpoon shooter)  
  
Some Guy: Sorry Lady Yuna I need this to kill sin cause my family is in Kilika(Swipes it from her and she bumps her head)  
  
Yuna (in mind: Son of a (Beep), valevor has dinner tonight)  
  
(Battle sin til he dies)  
  
(Look around and Wakka Dives for Tidus)  
  
Tidus: Man why was I the only one knocked off the ship, I feel like a wuss.  
  
Wakka: Here man let me help you(Sin spawn coems and attacks)  
  
SS: Ha, you may have defeated the other sin spawn but I am more mighty!  
  
Tidus: Shut up (Cuts in 2)  
  
Wakka: 0k lets go back to the ship and to Kilika.  
  
(Get to Killed island)  
  
What will happen in Kilika? Will Tidus Spit more bad language then before ? Will Yuna feed that one guy to valevor, its up to the reviewers request.  
  
Choose:  
  
A: Tidus and the next chapter w/ him spewing more bad launguage then ever or  
  
B: Yuna Feeding that one guy on the ship to Valevor?  
  
Majority Wins!  
  
(Need of atleast 5-7 reviews) 


	4. Kilika Island

Disclaimer: Do I have to do this every time? FanFic God: Yes  
  
Fine, I don't own FFX  
  
Last time: They fought sin and got to Kilica, you guys voted for a special edition to this chapter and majority voted for the guy getting eaten (crowd): Yea!  
  
Tidus: Wow Sin really did a number here.  
  
Wakka: Do you have to say stupid stuff like that "Did a number". That's so 70's  
  
Tidus: Oh yea...Wako!  
  
Wako: That's not funny (Looks at name) Hey how did you do that?  
  
Tidus: Because I am God!  
  
God: What? I shall smite you now (Kills Tidus but is then revived since is needed for the fic)  
  
Tidus: Ha ha!  
  
God: Damn other worldly writing!  
  
Wako: I am gonna fix the ship (Looks at name) WILL YOU CUT THAT CRAP OUT?  
  
Tidus: Fine (fixes name with other worldly writing powers that was only granted and cannot be used anymore.) (Looks at action in parenthesis phrase) God Damnit!  
  
Wakka: Yea!  
  
Tidus: (Looks around then goes to rest in the inn) Ok I guess I will go to the forest now.  
  
~ Forest Scene ~  
  
Tidus: Hey Guys!  
  
Wakka: YO shuts up we are talking!  
  
Tidus: You were just fixing the boat ho did you get here before me...never mind.  
  
Yuna: I want Tidus to be my guardian.  
  
Everyone: (Gasp)  
  
Lulu: He has no training in combat.  
  
Wakka: Yea and it takes more then determination to be a guardian!  
  
Tidus: (In mind: I wonder if this means she start to like me, I knew it)  
  
(Go through forest and beat up the fiends)  
  
(Ancient steps)  
  
Wakka: Ok guys let have a race!  
  
Tidus: Fine but I will win!  
  
Yuna: 3,2,1 (runs and cheats)  
  
Wakka: Oh she screwed it up. Here let me give you some history on these ancient steps.  
  
Tidus: What you mean the one the Sin Spawn in destroying?  
  
Wakka: Yea (bleak pause)... oh crap!  
  
SS: HA! I am to mighty and powerful I will take over these... ancient ruins muahaha!  
  
Tidus: Man these things are as lame as my dad what a coincidence. (Cuts up the sin spawn)  
  
Tidus: Ok lets go to the temple.  
  
At Village ~  
  
Goers: aha you guys suck so badly... you suck.  
  
Another Goers: yea you suck really badly aha.  
  
Wakka: I think we get the point already (in mind: why did this game make us lose to such assholes, like 23 times)  
  
Tidus: (in mind: man I am really embarrassed, these guys must really, well suck, maybe if I say something nice Yuna might find me more attractive..Yea!)  
  
Tidus: Um, yea we will show them a thing or to right Yuna! Yuna? Where did she go?  
  
Wakka: Ok well lets go in the temple everyone!  
  
Tidus: What about Yuna?  
  
Wakka: Hey yea, where is she. Man we suck as guardians, ya?  
  
Tidus: hmm (hears screams and pains for help back in the village)  
  
Tidus: Oh man now we have to go through the damn woods again!  
  
Goes through the damn woods again ~  
  
Yuna: Yea you son of a (beep), don't ever knock me down again!  
  
Tidus: (Sees a dead Corp on the ground) uh.  
  
Yuna: Huh what, it wasn't me, it was the lamp! It told me too!  
  
Tidus: a lamp told you to summon Valevor on a simple puny none fiend person.  
  
Yuna: (looks both ways cautiously) ... Yea!  
  
Tidus: Nevermind you got to go to the temple!  
  
Crosses the damn woods again ~  
  
Tidus * cough, cough * Poison! Those damn woods and their stupid fiends!  
  
Go to temple and pray where are interrupted by Dona and Bartello.  
  
Dona: ah the high summoner's daughter. Well so you know, I am the better summoner.  
  
Yuna: no you're not.  
  
Dona: uh ha, my dad said I am special.  
  
Tidus: Hey yo donts be make me go gangster so yous better steps away ok?  
  
Dona: Oh man (pus hand over face), someone is definitely getting shot.  
  
Go to trial of cloisters ~  
  
Tidus: (waists by elevator)  
  
Bartello: Barahahah!  
  
Tidus: Ah!!!!!!(Accidentally falls on elevator)  
  
Tidus: Oh man I have to do this sphere thing? Fine!  
  
(1 hour later)  
  
Tidus: How did you guys do that so fast?  
  
Wakka: We didn't, the game just transports us here.  
  
Tidus: What?! I hate you guys.  
  
Wakka: Ha! Ha!  
  
Yuna preys and they leave temple.  
  
~ Ship ~  
  
Wakka: Just walk around and stuff.  
  
Tidus: Ok!  
  
Goes around ship.  
  
O'aka: ha! Ha! Your clothing and stupid. It's not even worth buying.  
  
Tidus: Oh yea? Your mom!  
  
O'aka: (breaks down crying) shes dead ok!  
  
Tidus: Normally I would feel sorry for you but you're just sad. Here have a gil.  
  
O'aka: oh thank you I will be rich and famous!  
  
Tidus: Whatever! (Goes outside)  
  
Goers: Hey look it's one of those guys that suck aha!  
  
Tidus (knocks all of em out)  
  
Yuna: Hey I was supposed to say they were being rude and that you were a start blitz ball player so they would laugh at you more. Oh, oh well!  
  
Tidus: (Goes over to Blitz Ball)  
  
Tidus: hmm (Jecht starts talking to him)  
  
Jecht: You can't be me I am the best and stuff.  
  
Tidus: Oh yea? Atleast I am not Sin, ohhh!  
  
Jecht: What? How told you that, they made me do it!  
  
Tidus: Auron Screwed up the story.  
  
Jecht: oh, did you find the sphere in the woods yet and stuff and the shopuff or the moonflow?  
  
Tidus: What?! Shut up you killed it to, you lucky you're just an imaginary voice in my head.  
  
Land at Luca ~  
  
Well that does it for chap 4. R&R plz. Trying to make the next one funny and take a look at the new thing I wrote to, the Tidus and Yuna in Therapy! 


	5. Blitz Ball

Chapter 5  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FFX  
  
Previously: Yuna fed the guy on the boat to Valevor, Tidus hates the woods in Kilika, Tidus found out he is the only one actually going through the cloister of trials. Tidus knocks out the Luca Goers, Tidus has an argument w/his father on the ship, the make it to Luca.  
  
Ok:  
  
Tidus: Wow this place is big!  
  
Wakka: Do you have to be amazed at everything?  
  
Tidus: ...Yes.  
  
Some announcer guy: It looks like all the teams are all ready today. Hey it looks like the aurochs had some nerve to participate this year, those brave but stupid fools!  
  
SA: Hey it's our very own never been beaten luca goers...w/ Band-Aids.  
  
Tidus: Yea and I will F%$# them up again, ok someone hold me back, hold me back!  
  
Everyone: Slowly steps away.  
  
Tidus:? Come on wheres your we are gonna kick the luca goers a$$ spirit?  
  
Wakka: I think we lost it some where around when they beat us forth the 4th time.  
  
Tidus: Oh.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~The Game~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Wakka all right guys our first game and we are NOT versing the Luca Goers!  
  
Aurochs: YAY!  
  
Tidus: Boo!  
  
Yuna: Hey I think I saw Auron down by the Café.  
  
Tidus: All right, sorry guys I am gonna sit this one out.  
  
Wakka: Ok!  
  
~~~~ Go to Café ~~~~  
  
Tidus: Damn he is not here.  
  
Some Ronso: Hey look its pitiful Kimahri!  
  
Other Ronso: Ya, Kimahri real pitiful!  
  
Ronso: Yea Kimahri real piti- (Gets knocked out by Kimahri)  
  
~~~~ Screen ~~~~  
  
Oh man what a site, the aurochs are actually tied w/ someone. Those poor AL Bhed keeping a tied score w/ the loser aurochs.  
  
~~~~ To port 4 ~~~~  
  
Lulu: Quick the Al Bhed took Yuna in exchange for there victory.  
  
Tidus: Man there stupid, of course we are gonna lose.  
  
Kimahri: Shut up and find Yuna!  
  
Tidus: He talks?  
  
Kimahri: Sorry, cannot talk till at beach spot but hate being silent.  
  
Tidus: Ok.  
  
(Go to the al bhed ship)  
  
Tidus: Wow these are some funny looking robots.  
  
Robot: Intruder will kill you.  
  
Tidus: Hey what's this button do?  
  
Robot: Fool do not press that. (Falls apart)  
  
Tidus: Cool!  
  
Big Robot: Destroy! Destroy!  
  
Tidus: Shut up, (Uses crane to toss in water)  
  
Yuna: Hurray I am safe.  
  
Tidus: Ok lets go back to the game.  
  
Lulu: Oh yea, the game (uses magic to make a big screen with popcorn come out of no where)  
  
Tidus: Hey cool we ...won?  
  
~~~ Locker Room ~~~  
  
Wakka: We did well, ya?  
  
Tidus: I guess.  
  
Wakka: Whatever, here you play next game.  
  
Tidus: Sweet!  
  
~~~ Game starts ~~~  
  
Sphere Pool:  
  
Luca Goer: Here shake my hand.  
  
Tidus: No, cause you will try and do this. (Punches the same goer from the ship again)  
  
Luca: You son of a (beep)  
  
Game starts ~  
  
Tidus takes a few shots and so does Graav.  
  
Score: A – 19 LG – 5  
  
~~~ Half Time ~~~  
  
Tidus: Ha! They will never beat us now.  
  
Wakka: Don't be too sure.  
  
Tidus: Ok whatever.  
  
Wakka: Just shoot like crazy  
  
Aurochs: Yea!  
  
Wakka: Keep a good defense!  
  
Aurochs: Yea!  
  
Tidus: Kill the innocent!  
  
Aurochs: ye—a.... What?  
  
Tidus: Sorry I always wanted a big unworthy mob to agree w/ me on killing the innocent.  
  
Wakka:? No here let me play you just go in that corner and collect dust just for saying that.  
  
Tidus: What will I do for fun?  
  
Wakka: Tell jokes to the wall.  
  
Tidus: ok. Hey wall you here the one about the tree and the cookie?  
  
Wall: Yes, shut up your jokes are not worthy of me to listen to.  
  
Tidus: You talked?  
  
Wall: Yea talked!  
  
Tidus: Walls can't talk!  
  
Wall: oh yea? Your mom!  
  
Tidus: That's to old already. I used that like 5 times over the story.  
  
Wall: Your mom!  
  
Tidus: And you say I am not worthy of talking?  
  
~ Game ~  
  
Wakka: Wow how did they catch up  
  
Letty: Cause we suck, SIR!  
  
Wakka: Shut up, there are 3 sec's. They can't beat us while we have a 3 point lead.  
  
(Magically catches up and beat the aurochs)  
  
Wakka: God Dammit!  
  
Monsters Attack!  
  
Well tell me how you are enjoying it.  
  
I know I skipped a lot but if I didn't we would still be in besaid or somtin hehe. 


	6. After math of blitz ball

Chap 6 Aftermath ~  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FFX.  
  
Previously: Aurochs lost to Goers (I know if you do win datto get the trophy)  
  
Wakka: Where did they come from  
  
Tidus: Hmm, maybe there not there are we are seeing things.  
  
Wakka: Shut up, shouldn't you being have an argument with a wall.  
  
Tidus: That's really low man, he put up some good disses.  
  
Wakka: Oh really?  
  
Tidus: Das right you better recognize brother!  
  
Wakka: You know one day you're gonna get shot and I am gonna sit they're laughing.  
  
Tidus: Lets just fight the fish, thy already took have our hp while we were arguing.  
  
Wakka: Oh ok, wait I cant.  
  
Tidus: Why?  
  
Wakka: They already K.O'ed me.  
  
Tidus: Oh.  
  
Fish: That's right we are mighty and powerful.  
  
Tidus: Shut up! (Kills all fish)  
  
(Aurons fight)  
  
Auron: Man killing fiends is boring, all I have to do is just cut them and they die.  
  
Some Fiend: Oh yea? (Bird attacks him)  
  
Auron: How, hey that hurt.  
  
SF: Sorry.  
  
Auron: You're a pathetic excuse for a fiend.  
  
SF: I know, I was kicked out of being evil school. I got mugged 20 times and they stapled my tires 3 times when I would drive.  
  
Auron: But you're a bird.  
  
SF: So what you getting at? A bird can't drive, huh? I have been driving before yo moma was breast feeding you.  
  
Auron: Wow your old.  
  
SF: Damn straight.  
  
Auron: Never mind I have to kill you, good conversation though.  
  
SF: Thanks! (Gets killed)  
  
Tidus: Hey Auron, I am here to annoy you for killing the story.  
  
Auron: Go away.  
  
Tidus: No, see this time I am gonna get some AP and make sure you cant fix your sphere grid.  
  
Auron: OH yea? (Kills Tidus and gets 99999 AP for doing it and fills his entire sphere grid)  
  
Wakka: Wow sir Auron was that necessary?  
  
Auron: OH sure, Just phyenix down him and he will be back.  
  
Wakka: Ok, cures Tidus.  
  
Tidus: Damn you, you used me...for Power Development. That wasn't nice. (In a crying yet not crying voice)  
  
Auron: Shut up and fight.  
  
Tidus: Ok (kills the next set of enemies).  
  
After Battle  
  
Auron (Takes all the sphere out of hi sphere gird and only keeps up to half way to magic break)  
  
Tidus: Why did you do that?  
  
Auron: Cause then this game would be boring.  
  
Tidus: Oh.  
  
Seymour: (Uses Aeon to become god and kill all the fiends)  
  
Yuna: Son of a (beep), I should have a strong aeon, I am the daughter of lord Braska!  
  
~ Start on the Pilgrimage road ~  
  
Enemy attacks and they all learn about Aurons piercing to attack enemies with hard defense.  
  
People on Chocobo: Yuna, there is a Chococbo Eater up ahead.  
  
Yuna: Ok...so?  
  
POC: Aren't you scared?  
  
Yuna: No, of course not, I have my aeons and these guys (image of lazy old beatdown guardians and ugly tired out messed up aeons)  
  
POC: Ok  
  
Tidus: Let's go fight it.  
  
Auron: Why?  
  
Tidus: Cause we have to, the game says so and please don't laugh and say Jecht said that too so we can save time.  
  
Auron: Damn.  
  
(Travel all the way to the Crusaders)  
  
Crusaders: Hey we are gonna go use some forbidden machina on Sin ok?  
  
Group: Ok.  
  
Wakka: Wait.  
  
Crusaders: What?  
  
Wakka: I am supposed to give some long speech on how bad forbidden machina is and get angry but I am to lazy at the moment. Just pretend to pretended to here me and do it anyway.  
  
Crusaders: Ok  
  
Meet with Shelinda.  
  
Shelinda: Oh Cry, Oh Sob.  
  
Yuna: What is it.  
  
Shelinda: I am a poor low class girl and the crusaders wont listen to me cause I said they should not use bad machina.  
  
Yuna: Serves you right, they are trying to protect us duh.  
  
Shelinda but machina is bad for a reason.  
  
Yuna: Of course it ain't, its to make you low class people think its bad so you don't go power crazy. Actually it makes you high and stuff and its great.  
  
Shelinda: Really?  
  
Yuna: No of course its bad because it causes wars, but don't tell anyone we are agreeing w/ the crusaders ok?  
  
Shelinda: Ok.  
  
Go to the Al Bhed shop.  
  
Wakka: I am not going in there.  
  
Tidus: Why?  
  
Wakka: Cause da Al Bhed are a bunch of assholes who can't speak English. Also they use the bad machina.  
  
Tidus: But the crusaders are using it and you don't seem to care.  
  
Wakka: Good point.  
  
Rest at Shop and go to fight Chocobo Eater.  
  
C.E.: Grr, me hungry, me fat, me ugly.  
  
Tidus: Shut up (Throws a rock at it and it dies) Ok lets go.  
  
End of Chap 6  
  
RandR please! 


	7. From the main road to Djose

Chap 7 ~ The Crusaders Plan  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FFX  
  
Previously: They were fighting the fiends in the sphere pool and were going on the main road to the chocobo eater. Tidus threw a rock at the C.E.  
  
Tidus: Wow I didn't think that would work.  
  
Wakka: Yea it makes you wonder.  
  
C.E.: Ha is didn't!  
  
Tidus: Oh I thought so.  
  
CE: Ha.  
  
Tidus: Let me try again (Throws rock and makes the C.E fall off the cliff)  
  
Wakka: That's better.  
  
Tidus: Ok lets go (Follow through the high road)  
  
Guard: you cannot pass.  
  
Tidus: Oh yea? (Stabs guard)  
  
Yuna: That was not necessary, I could have asked Seymour.  
  
Tidus: He is a fag.  
  
Yuna: Watch your mouth!  
  
Tidus: It's the truth.  
  
Yuna: So? HE is a maester.  
  
Tidus: Nevermind lets just go through.  
  
(Fight the enemies and get to the control center and go up to top of mountain)  
  
Wakka: Damn Machina (kicks and stubs toe)  
  
Tidus: Is it cause Chappu died of Machina?  
  
Lulu: Yup.  
  
Tidus: Oh  
  
(Go to the campsite)  
  
Some other friend of Aurons: Between you and me Auron, we know this is not gonna work, lets let them pretend it will.  
  
Auron: Cool, I like seeing people die!  
  
(Sin spawn with claws appears)  
  
SS: Ha I am a stronger Sin Spawn then the others.  
  
Tidus: Shut up! (Tries to but the SS but is blocked)  
  
SS: Ha I am stronger.  
  
Auron maybe this helps (Cuts of the arms)  
  
Tidus: Ok (Cuts in 2)  
  
SS: I knew I should have gotten more arms! (Dies)  
  
(Sin kills everyone)  
  
Seymour: Let me help.  
  
Tidus: No go away!  
  
Seymour: but-  
  
Tidus: Shut up go away!  
  
Seymour: Your mean.  
  
Tidus: I know (Kills the SS totally)  
  
(Go to the Djose Temple with lighting affects)  
  
Tidus: Cool.  
  
(Go in temple)  
  
Isaruu: You must be lady Yuna.  
  
Yuna: Yup.  
  
Isaruu: How bout we see who will beat sin and die first!  
  
Yuna: Ok.  
  
Tidus: What did he mean by die.  
  
Yuna: I don't know.  
  
Tidus: Oh well, damn now I have to do the trial thing.  
  
(2 hours later)  
  
Wakka: What took you so long?  
  
Tidus: Shut up.  
  
(Leave temple when done) Morning ~  
  
Tidus: Where is Yuna?  
  
Wakka: Probably still sleeping go get her.  
  
Tidus: Why don't you?  
  
Wakka: I cant cause the game plants me here, you are the main character so you can go anywhere duh.  
  
Tidus: Damn.  
  
(Goes and wakes up Yuna)  
  
Yuna: Oh man I over slepd we have to go.  
  
Wakka: Ha your hair is messed up!  
  
Yuna: Well yours has been messed up since the beginning of this game, I mean look at it, what kinda fag makes a little wave like affect so he looks like he has hair like a bird?  
  
Wakka: (almost crying): that's not true this hair is..co..cool.  
  
Yuna: Oh yea ask everyone else (everyone agrees with Yuna)  
  
Wakka: (Runs into the woods and cries)  
  
Tidus: I thought in the game you're supposed to be caring of others happiness.  
  
Yuna: But this is the real version, I can cuss out Maester Mike if I wanted to.  
  
Tidus: Wow I should start really expressing my feelings.  
  
End of Chap 7  
  
R&R  
  
Will Tidus start stating what he really thinks?  
  
Will Wakka ever stop crying like a pussy?  
  
What has happened to Yuna, why is she so evil.  
  
Find out next time on " What really happened in FFX"  
  
(No actual Wakkas or creatures were harmed in the making of this fic) 


	8. The Bad Mouth Frenzy!

Chap 8 ~ The Road to Guado Village.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FFX and I am pretty sure I am getting ready to stop the disclaimer since all these chaps connect to the same story.  
  
Author's Note: If you dislike bad language, I suggest not reading.  
  
Previously: They fought another sin spawns and preyed in DJOSE.  
  
~ Road they take to the moon flow ~  
  
Tidus: Alright lets go on with the F&*#in pilgrimage.  
  
(Everyone wide eyed)  
  
Tidus: What? You guys (Beep) in said I could be as (beep) in descriptive as I (beep) in wanted to.  
  
Auron: Oh yea I almost (Beep)in forgot.  
  
Wakka: Ok how bout now guys (Fixes it into the Fonz's hair cut)  
  
Yuna: Gay.  
  
Tidus: Yea totally gay man.  
  
Lulu: Yea super gay.  
  
Wakka: oh man.  
  
(Changes hair to cloud's style)  
  
Tidus: Are you a wanna be or somtin? Besides, that is already being used by Cloud that fag from FF7.  
  
Lulu: I thought he was cute.  
  
Tidus: Yea but we have our own FF game so we are supposed to diss out the other FF games duh, so Cloud is super gay.  
  
Lulu: Oh.  
  
Wakka: How bout now (uses Squalls hair)  
  
Tidus: Oh god thats gay.  
  
Yuna: Totally gay.  
  
Auron: Just forget it, maybe keeping it the same might make monster think he is gay and run away or somtin.  
  
Wakka: Yea...HEY!  
  
(Go through the road and fight the summoner)  
  
Summoner: Have you gotten better?  
  
Yuna: Of course B*tch.  
  
Summoner: Oh that does it (Summons anima)  
  
Yuna: Hey no F*ckin fair!  
  
Summoner: F*ck you!  
  
(Yuna loses)  
  
(Go through the woods to the moon flow)  
  
Tidus: Wow this place is F*ckin Beautiful!  
  
Auron: It sure F*ckin is, I am gonna get drunk off the stuff in my bottle I always carry.  
  
Tidus: O-F*ckin-K! Man bad language F*ckin Rocks!  
  
(Go to shupuff and ride it, then get attacked)  
  
Wakka: God Damn F*ckin Al Bhed!  
  
Tidus: Lets go F*ck em up!  
  
Wakka: You F*ckin said it!  
  
(Beat up the machine)  
  
(Shupuff lands)  
  
Tidus: Wow that was F*ckin awesome.  
  
Auron: Oh man I am F*ckin drunk.  
  
Tidus: No, fu*ckin way! Cool!  
  
(Go to woods but is stopped by Rikku) Tidus: Hey there, hey your Rikku.  
  
Rikku: F*ck you!  
  
Tidus: Hey what for?  
  
Rikku: You F*cked me up! F*ckin remember?  
  
Tidus: Oh you were in the F*ckin machine?  
  
Rikku: F*ck yea, F*ck Yevon and there damn bad machina law!  
  
Tidus: That's F*ckin messed up.  
  
Rikku: Sorry, I though it would be F*ckin funny.  
  
Yuna: Can we stop cursing?  
  
Tidus: Ok.  
  
Rikku: (Goes through woods and Rikku shows off Mix.)  
  
In Guado Village. *  
  
People at Guado Village: Sorry Seymour is at the Lake Macalania.  
  
Tidus: Oh. Hey lets go visit the far plane (Everyone goes to the far plane)  
  
Tidus: Wow this place is F*ckin Scary.  
  
(Everyone holds down Tidus, Yuna washes his mouth)  
  
Yuna: Told you to stop. You got more?  
  
Tidus: Ah! No I am (Beep)in sorry...shit.  
  
(Mouths get washed out viciously)  
  
Yuna: Now shut up!  
  
Tidus: (Starts spitting) Ok.  
  
(Start their way through the Thunder planes)  
  
R & R  
  
Author's Note: Sorry if there was to much profanity, it was the voices in my head. 


	9. From the Thunder plains to Seymours!

Chapter 9 ~ The Thunder Plains ~  
  
Previously: Wakka could not find a decent hair cut. Everyone cursed a lot. Rikku was added to the party. They are now entering Thunder Plains.  
  
Tidus: (Seeing the thunder flash) Uh is there a way for us to get through without getting killed?  
  
Lulu: Well if you were paying attention to that trial thing that shows us how to dodge lightning and stuff, you would realize its not to hard, besides we don't lose hp.  
  
Tidus: Oh. Uh... how do we dodge again.  
  
Lulu: Never mind.  
  
(Crossing through plains)  
  
Rikku: Do we really have to go through with this?  
  
Auron: Yes so shut up or leave.  
  
Rikku: Why are you so mean?  
  
Auron: Why are you such a pain?  
  
(Cross thunder plains and stuff)  
  
Yuna: How did we go from a thunderous plain that's barren and looks dead to this beautiful lively forest?  
  
Tidus: Damn creators!  
  
Auron: That's not the point, let's just move on.  
  
(Go through woods till they reach Bartello)  
  
Bartello: Hey did you guys see Dona?  
  
Yuna: You lost your summoner?  
  
Bartello: Yup!  
  
Yuna: Ha we are beating you!  
  
Auron: Do you need help finding her?  
  
Yuna: Just shut up, we are not helping him find Dona!  
  
(End up helping find Dona)  
  
Yuna: I can't believe we are helping him find Dona.  
  
Tidus: It's for a good cause.  
  
Yuna: Oh shut up!  
  
Bartello: Sorry, oh well I guess I wasted enough of your time.  
  
Yuna: Das right, now go before I shoot you!  
  
(Everyone wide Eyed)  
  
Yuna: What?  
  
(At part where Auron shows them the crystal place)  
  
Auron: This is where Jecht left a sphere for you.  
  
Tidus: SO?  
  
(Monster attacks)  
  
Tidus: Wow that thing looks ugly.  
  
Rikku: Yea I know.  
  
Kimahri: Looks like something Kimahri pooped out of his butt.  
  
Tidus: Who cares lets just kill it (kills sphere thing w/ sword even though it would normally get healed from non-magic).  
  
(Macalanea Lake)  
  
Guy with the Chocobo: Hey!  
  
Wakka: You're a fag go away.  
  
GWTC: Well your hair looks stupid, I guess you are too.  
  
Wakka: Shut up its not that bad.  
  
GWTC: Oh come on when a loser like me points that out its definitely bad. Tidus: Look just move out the way so I can open the chest or I will kill you.  
  
GWTC: Oh ok.  
  
(Gets the 4,000-gill)  
  
Guy w/ grey hair: Thank you for bringing lady Yuna.  
  
Tidus: Oh sure.  
  
(GWGH and Yuna get jumped by al bhed)  
  
Wakka: God Dammit!  
  
Tidus: You figure they would have learned by now they always lose.  
  
Brother: uigfui eghguon ginbg Magic fnig Aeons geriognn ignong Gonna Kill You uinhf.  
  
Tidus: What he say.  
  
Rikku: He said something about magic and aeons, and he is gonna kill us.  
  
Tidus: Ok... can you try telling us everything he said and not the stuff we already know!  
  
Rikku: Oh sorry. He said he is gonna use an anti magic and aeons shield.  
  
Tidus: So?  
  
Rikku: We can't use magic or aeons.  
  
Tidus: I know but watch this. (Walks over to machine and pulls out a loose screw and it explodes)  
  
Brother: ffonf God Dammit I knew I should not have trusted those guys at the junk yard fiog iniogg igge they ripped me off ieggn.  
  
Tidus: What he say?  
  
Rikku: He got ripped off at the junkyard building... again.  
  
Tidus: Wow.  
  
Al bhed: (Get blasted into sky) Ahh, it looks like terggi ofgnbg Al Bhed are blasting off again kingng iorngng igggon.  
  
Tidus: Hey I didn't know you guies still had pokemon in the future.  
  
Rikku: Yea but it's a horrible show.  
  
Tidus: No it isn't. (Starts singing some poke rap and says gotta catch em all)  
  
Auron: (Tries to resist urge to kill him)  
  
Yuna: Lets just go on these really cool snowmobiles to Seymours.  
  
Wakka: No way, thats machina and how does Rikku know Al Bhed?  
  
Rikku: That's because I am al bhed.  
  
Wakka: Oh... I mean you son of a (Beep) machina users.  
  
Rikku: Stupid hair.  
  
Wakka: Wha...non-Yevon person thing!  
  
Rikku: Stupid hair!  
  
Wakka: (Ready to shed tears) Yea well your... your (Breaks into to tears)  
  
Rikku: Wow that was easy.  
  
(Go to Seymours place)  
  
Tidus: Hey wheres Wakka?  
  
Lulu: He dint want to use machina.  
  
Tidus: Oh.  
  
(8 hours later)  
  
Wakka: Here I am guys.  
  
Tidus: You know how much of a loser you are?  
  
End of Chap 9. R&R  
  
Sorry my stories have been taking so long, I got banned for a while. Weird thing is the 8th chapter should have been on 1st page but it stayed on the 3rd page. 


	10. Seymour Fight

Chap 10 – The fight against Seymour.  
  
Previously – They fought the al bhed and went to Seymour's.  
  
Story:  
  
Wakka: What do you mean I am a loser?  
  
Tidus: I ant believe you walked here.  
  
Wakka: So? Good exercise.  
  
Tidus: Yea...  
  
Lulu: Lets just go.  
  
Kimahri: Kimahri want to kill if we no go.  
  
Lulu: Exactly.  
  
At gate:  
  
Gate dude: Sorry she cant come she is al bhed.  
  
Rikku: Oh yea? (Kicks him in the balls and just walks in)  
  
Guy with the Grey hair: Just sit and eat.  
  
Tidus and Rikku: (Eat everything in site)  
  
Tidus: Wow this stuff is real good.  
  
(Go to the room w/ Jyscals sphere)  
  
(Look at sphere)  
  
Wakka: Wow I knew that guy was a fag.  
  
Tidus: Yea told ya.  
  
Lulu: Like you knew.  
  
Tidus: He was to ugly and gay to be a good guy.  
  
Seymour: Is that so. Tidus: Yea and I would mess h..im...up... he is right behind me ain't he.  
  
Lulu: Yea.  
  
Yuna: I am done preying.  
  
Tidus: Hey yuna did you know he killed lord Jyscal?  
  
Yuna: Yea that's why I am here, to kill him.  
  
Seymour: Is that so?  
  
Yuna: Yup.  
  
Seymour: Lets see. (Summons Anima)  
  
Yuna: God dammit!  
  
Seymour: You cant be Anima can you.  
  
Yuna: Yea I can, it's just I realized I broke a nail, that one took like an hour to fix.  
  
Everyone: (Anime Fall)  
  
Yuna: Sorry (Summons Shiva) Ha.  
  
Seymour: You not supposed to have that till after you beat me.  
  
Yuna: The gamer used game shark.  
  
Seymour: Cheaters!  
  
Yuna: Yea and one hit kill to.  
  
(Kills Seymour)  
  
Yuna: (Walks over to the croaking Seymour)  
  
Seymour: You pity me now Yuna?  
  
Yuna: No, I just wanted to watch you die, then laugh.  
  
Seymour: Oh. (Dies)  
  
Guado people: You killed him.  
  
Tidus: No true, a bunch of rabbits ate him, we were trying to stop them but they were so cute.  
  
Guado guy: You know how fake that was?  
  
Tidus: No. Sorry.  
  
Yuna: No it's the truth.  
  
Guado: Oh, well off you go then.  
  
(Leave place)  
  
Wakka: Wow I thought we were gonna get chased out.  
  
Tidus: I know right.  
  
(Start walking but then have to complete the trial.)  
  
Tidus: Oh man, can you guys help me?  
  
(Realizes they are on the otherside)  
  
Tidus: Goddamn computer triggers!  
  
(Hour later)  
  
Wakka: I figured you would have gotten used to those by now.  
  
Tidus: Go jump off a bridge.  
  
(Go to the ice place)  
  
Yuna: Hey guys look a yeti!  
  
Tidus: Oh man an 2 Guado dudes.  
  
(Fight)  
  
Tidus: Maybe if I (Throws a stick down a hole)  
  
Yeti: Mine (Falls and dies)  
  
Guado: Wow their good. Now we have a reason too attack you yay.  
  
Kimahri: Oh yea? (Pokes a hole through both of them)  
  
(Sin Comes)  
  
End of Chap 


End file.
